Zander Drives Cars

I feel like BMW has a problem. No, I take that back: I feel like the community has a problem. We’re quick to judge. Sometimes, that is to our benefit. But, most of the time, it isn’t. A few months back, BMW unveiled the 8th generation of their beloved 5-Series, and the reaction was moderate-to-severely negative. It’s a shame, really, because if everyone stepped away from their keyboards and took a deep breath, we would be able to see that the new 5-Series is actually good.

The Exterior

Startin’ off really controversial here, aren’t we? I’m not calling this a masterpiece, I won’t call it beautiful, and hell, I won’t even call it attractive. But hideous? No. The iX is hideous. This is light work. In-person, the new 5-Series doesn’t look bad at all. The rear 3/4 view looks pretty sharp, and while the wheels are busy, they at least can take your eyes off the admittedly flawed front fascia. However, at least for me, the strong suit of this particular 530i was the Cape York Metallic Green. You can call it turquoise, sea foam, or marshland, but I’ll call it stunning. 10/10 paint-work, BMW.

The Interior

I don’t know when it started, maybe 2021, but BMW’s interiors have been successfully punching above their weight, and the 5-Series’ cabin is no exception. Despite the slightly higher than-average amount of piano black plastic and the geometrically flawed steering wheel, the interior both looks, and feels very high quality, and is certainly a nicer place to be than anything with four rings, and more modern than the tri-pointed star. Like the aforementioned iX, the rear seats of the “5er” have the combination USB-C port and accessory port and while I am grateful for USB-C ports, I would have preferred them where the rear passenger climate vents are. Speaking of those vents, while they don’t have digital controls like in the Volvo S90 or the new Mercedes E-Class, the more expensive 540i does have them. Thank you European Instagram followers.

The Screens

Out of the big 3, I’m sorry to say, but BMW has the best physical screen setup. Not overly massive, not jarring, not abstentious, sort of. The screen on this 5-Series is the same as on most new BMW models and it is just the right size and shape. I’m tired of iPads, give me a sideways iPhone. As for the functionality, more check marks. I still think iDrive 7 is better than what is now 8.5, but 94% is still in the A range.

The main center screen, aside from the pages of apps you’ll probably never use so stop complaining, is pretty easy to navigate, and the standard navigation, media, and climate setup is as easy as it can be in a car with minimal buttons. Yes, no buttons, I know, not my favorite either, but the sliders are better than VW, so there’s that. Climate features are easy to use and you can access most of the main functions without having to go to a completely different screen either.

As for the driver’s display, it’s copy pasted from every other modern BMW. Yu have a massive array of different settings and configurations you can switch through to find the optimal placement for the title of the song that’s playing, while also having enough room left over to show how fast you’re going. very fun to screw around with.

The Features

It’s a German luxury car, so there’s a lot here. This particular 530i came with “both the”premium package” which includes such goodies as a remote engine start, heated steering wheel, heated front seats (not subscription, though!), an upgraded autonomous parking system, and gesture control, which in case anyone is wondering, does not do anything if you flip the car the bird. Or double bird.

As for standard options, the 530i has cruise control, a Harmon Kardon Soundsystem, wireless charging, USB-A/C ports in the front and rear, wireless Bluetooth with CarPlay and Android Auto integration, a HUD, a front collision mitigation and avoidance system, a full 360 backup camera, a BLIS system, lane keep assist, and a rear sunshade. I love a good rear sunshade.

Not huge on BMW starting to become more Audi-esque in their nickel and diming for certain luxuries, but considering they abandoned the idea (at least stateside) for subscription-based comforts, I’ll happily take it.

The Drive

The BMW 530i is powered by a 2.0l 4-cylinder engine making 255 hp and 290 lb-ft of torque, sen through an 8-speed automatic transmission to either all four or just the rear wheels. 0-60 is 5.9 seconds, which is exactly the same as the outgoing model, by-the-dubs, and fuel economy is a pretty good 27 city, 35 highway, 30 combined.

I think I would use the term “grown up,” to describe the way the new 5-Series drives. I would in no way say the outgoing model was “raw” or “bad to the bone,” but this new generation feels a bit more educated, a bit more focused. It leans away from being sporty and throws most of its hand into being more comfort-oriented. And to that point, I’d say it works. This is miles more comfortable than any other 5-Series, and the acceleration doesn’t come in big gulps or surprises, all very linear and scripted. It all just feels pleasant. I certainly am not mad at it, after 35 years of BMW making cars that shake your teeth out of your mouth, they’re finally starting to value customer comfort. Good job, Munich!

That all being said, I would suggest, at least if you’re looking for more power, that the 540i has you beat. It’s got 30% more power. And honestly, if it’s as comfortable as the 530i, would be the one I’d go for personally.

In The End…

This is textbook modern BMW. Create a product that markets itself from every form of social buzz, piss off purists who both won’t and haven’t driven it, spawn a barrage of “Is BMW dead?” articles, and in the midst of the yelling and screaming and pitchforks, create a solid product. They did it with the new 2-Series, they did it with the iX, and goddamnit, they did it again with the new 5-Series. It may not be as “good” as the outgoing model, but it’s still a positive addition to the lineage. Both things are allowed to occur, by the way.