Zander Drives Cars

Volkswagen has always had this weird fixation with large, upmarket sedans. First, there was the showstopping, but unreliable Phaeton. Then, there was the pretty, but weird CC. Lastly, we have Arteon, a premium, fast, and gorgeous “hatchback” that nobody bought. I could analyze a million different reasons why all three cars failed, but I’ll spare you and tell you why: nobody wants an expensive VW. If you want an expensive VW, you buy an Audi. With the exception of the ID4 and Golf R, no VW in the United States costs more than $50,000 MSRP. That being said, the failure of the Arteon doesn’t stop it from being my favorite modern VW. So, before the hammer falls and production ends, I got my hands on the top-of-the-range SEL R-Line to tell you why I love it.

This car is, bluntly, gorgeous. It follows a similar design as the CC which came before it. That was also a beautiful car. The Arteon punctuated the beauty by coming with big, 20-inch rims, a flashy front fascia, and a big “ARTEON” badge in the rear. These touches are nice, but nothing compares to the side profile. My god, it is a thing of beauty. One unbroken curve. Perhaps I could criticize the car for being a bit higher off the ground than it needs to be but that’s pushing it. This R-Line model looks the same as every other Arteon in the range but does come with some small “R” badges on the front fender and grille. Nothing really to distinguish from base models. Before I go on, let me address my Euro viewers by stating that no, we do not have the shooting break here in the States. I have seen it and it is even more gorgeous.

Inside the Arteon, things get a bit strange. The interior is a mix between Passat and MK8 Golf. For instance, the screen and center console are straight out of the Passat. The gear shifter is out of the Passat as well. However, the driver’s display, steering wheel, and soft-touch climate controls on the bottom of the center console all come out of the new Golf. So, what gives? Maybe VW knew that redesigning a car that didn’t sell wasn’t the best option? But if that were the case why put new tech in it? I’m getting off track. The rest of the interior is a slight step above anything else in the range. The dashboard trim is cool and funky while also pleasing to the touch. There aren’t as many egregious plastics as in other VWs as well, which is always welcome. However, this interior is not on par with Audi, regardless of what some on the interwebs claim. As for the rear seats, like in any “hatchback,” you sacrifice headroom (and rear visibility for that matter) but legroom is ample and there is room for you to spread out on long journies.

As stated in the previous paragraph, the Arteon features a mix of MK8 Golf tech and Passat tech. You get the same 8-inch touchscreen as the Passat (and other VW models like the Atlas) that does many different things well. If you’re looking for a modern VW without the user interface and software of the new GTI, this is a solid option. The driver’s display is fully digital and lets you customize a large array of features that are pretty standard on most other digital displays in its class. You get the typical speed readouts, notifications, the amazing full map display, and what song is playing. You get it all. As for other features, you get heated front seats that are both controlled electrically (unlike the GTI), dual-zone climate controls, radar active and adaptive cruise control, Bluetooth, CarPlay, blind spot warning lights on the side mirrors, a clear backup camera, a wireless charger and USB ports in the front, and a cigarette lighter in the rear.

Normally I write these pieces linearly, starting with the exterior and ending with the driving and performance paragraphs. This is not the case today. The Arteon SEL R-Line has 300hp paired with a 7-speed dual-clutch transmission that sets power to all four wheels. Supposedly, the Arteon can do 0-60 (via Motortrend) in five seconds. Five seconds. Now, I wasn’t able to do a 0-60 during my time with the Arteon, but my butt dyno tells me those numbers check out. It should be noted that other publications have given longer times as well but I like to give VW the benefit of the doubt. This car is quick. The top speed for the Arteon is limited to 155 mph but German YouTubers will dispute that if asked.

On unevenly paved roads, the Arteon isn’t obscenely comfortable, what with a stiff suspension even in comfort mode, but the ride won’t hurt your back too hard. Like most AWD VW products, the Arteon turns in well and sticks to the road with ease. Would I call this car a “sleeper?” Yes, I would. It’s fast and discrete, and nobody thinks that what you have can out-accelerate cars with other German badges. Fuel economy for the Arteon is rated at 22 city, 30 why, and 25 combined. These figures are for the AWD models, with FWD models typically getting an extra one or two city as a bonus.

Here’s the deal: If you have the money, and want something to show for it, an A5 hatchback will do the job perfectly. That said, if you subscribe to the “stealth wealth” philosophy, the Arteon is without a doubt the car for you.

A massive thank you to Melissa and Nazareth of VW Parkville for letting me drive the Arteon. They are great people and a joy to be around. VW Parkville has a great selection of new and used VWs. Click here to view their inventory.